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5. Forrest Gump I might be alone on this, but I don’t get the appeal. To me, Forrest Gump is highly overrated. I can not BELIEVE it won Best Picture over one of my favorites, The Shawshank Redemption

4. Fruit Loops – In my (unofficial) polling, people seem to prefer Fruit Loops over Apple Jacks 2-1. This is incorrect: Apple Jacks clearly demolishes Fruit Loops.

3. Coldplay – Their first two albums were GREAT. Since then they’ve sounded like a band doing their best to sound like Coldplay.

2. Celebrity Podcasts – Either I’m humorless and slow-witted or the SmartLess fellas & the like aren’t nearly as funny as they think they are.

1. Taylor Swift, Pickleball & Doodle Dogs – I’m kidding! How stupid do you think I am?

5. More Than 2 Pillows on a Bed – My bed will contain one primary and one backup pillow until I’m married, when I will immediately abandon my ideals.

4. Separating Colors – I was told not to crack my knuckles & NEVER to wash whites with colors. I have good knuckle health, and my whites are still white.

3. Treadmills – If I’m going to run or walk, I want a destination. Stressing my body while watching a timer slowly count down is not my idea of fun.

2. College Football – Between players jumping ship and coaches abandoning their players for more money/power, CF has lost its luster.

1. Boba Tea – The boba reminds me of soggy cereal. It’s texturally unsettling and I don’t want that for either of us.